Yoshi: Touch 'n' Go

As I previously said, Sprung's taken a back seat to Yoshi. This is a marvellous game, if a little misunderstood. Using the graphical style of Yoshi's Island (on the SNES), people were expecting this to be a progressional platformer, where you had to clear each stage to get to the next. It's not - well, with the exception of Marathon mode. It's really an arcade game, where you have to get the highest score possible.

The game's split into two sections:

• Baby Mario falls from the sky, and you must draw clouds to guide him to coins and stars, and to trap enemies so they cannot hurt him.
• Yoshi walks from left to right (or right to left, if you're left-handed) constantly, and you must draw clouds to ensure he doesn't fall off the bottom of the screen, get hit by enemies, or die in any other way. You can throw eggs at enemies, or to pick up coins.

It's all controlled using the touch screen, and works superbly. I've managed to get over 3000m on the Marathon mode, and over 300 points on Score Attack, which means I've opened up a further two modes. Both of which are very hard indeed.

Quick update

Other games which are ongoing:

Zelda: Oracle of Ages
I can't find Jabu Jabu. Stupid monster thing.

Zelda: Ocarina of Time
I'm now a grown-up, going through the forest dungeon bit by bit. I've come across four fire-stealing ghosts and am trying to track them down.

Halo
I can't remember where I am - I got through the library, at least. I must play this again soon before I forget that it's quite good.

Sprung
Some way through Becky's story, but I've been distracted from it by Yoshi's Touch 'n' Go, which I bought on Friday.

Goldeneye: Rogue Agent
I've given up on the entirely unfair and poorly-structured single-player. I played John over Xbox Live on Friday, and it was OK - apart from the fact that we were the only two people on it, and every time a game ended we were dumped apart and had to try and find each other again - no game lobbies or so on.

In Memoriam
The problem is that I sit at the computer, go to play In Memoriam, and instead end up playing on the Internet for two hours instead.

Populous: the Beginning
Still trying to get past all three of the worlds that make up the ninth level. They're not easy.

Well, there you go. There's lots of other games that I'm part-way through, but I don't want to guilt-trip myself too much.

Project Gotham Racing 2: silver arcade completed!

Yes, that time is correct. I've just completed the Kudos World Series at silver level, which I've been trying to do for the past year and a half. This evening I just burned through the last eight challenges with very little hassle at all, after not playing the game for about six months. I've unlocked three new flashy cars, and feel good about myself. No way that I'll ever manage to get all golds, and there are two other modes - arcade and time trial - which I doubt I'll ever progress much on.

But at least I feel like I could play PGR3, when it's released.

Sprungo away

So much for it being short - it's instead pretty painful. So far there've been quite a few memory tests which got very dull indeed, and even more absolutely random responses which appeared wrong but were in fact the right path to take. I've now finished one half of the story, and have started on Becky's side. I'm guessing that there were no attractive females on the programming or story team, since nobody seems to know exactly how men react to an attractive girl asking them questions. Some of the replies are utterly implausable, and it's therefore even more difficult to choose the correct response. Sigh.

Sprung

It's a "dating game". In fact, it's a "choose the correct response from this limited list and we'll let you progress" game. It's dull and poorly thought out and overly random. The thing is, though, you get the idea it's going to be quite short, so it's worth just trying each choice until you get the right one in the knowledge it's one step closer to the end of the game. I want to complete it, even if it is really quite crap.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of ... no, Oracle of Time. Ages. Something

I'm not half getting confused between the two. I wanted to use the boomerang in Ocarina of Time last night, and then realised I haven't got one. And the switch shot would be a lifesaver in a lot of places. Equally, in Oracle of Ages, I keep thinking that I need to use my catapualt, and then realise that I've only got a seed shooter, which isn't quite the same.

It's made worse by the fact that last night, in Ocarina of Time, I was battling through Jabu Jabu's stomach for a while. With a very annoying whiny girl who won't even walk anywhere, so you have to carry her. Idiot. And then on the tube this morning, in Oracle of Ages, I managed to find the kindom of the Zoras and was sent on a trip ... into Jabu Jabu's stomach. Great.

However, Ocarina of Time is growing on me now. Trying to find the Zoras' place was frustrating, as the only thing you know about them is that they're a water-loving people, so I went and searched around the massive lake that appeared on the map screen. And they weren't there. But anyway. At least there seems to be some purpose now.

Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Ages

Driven by my relative lack of success with Ocarina of Time, I've picked up Oracle of Ages again to try and finish that. My last save was just after I got the fifth Essence thingy, so after wandering around aimlessly for a bit I found new places to go and the sixth dungeon. And it was pretty easy - no lives lost at all, and it only took me two tube journeys.

And then when I got outside I was easily able to pick up the story again - there's this fairy type person called Nayru who's a goodie but is currently a baddie because the evil spirit witch thing has possessed her body. And so she's currently being held in the castle of Queen Ambi, who doesn't let Link into the building on account of his female rescuing tendancies. But when you come out of the fifth level, Ambi's gone for a walkabout and you can try and sneak in. Even though there are still guards around.

I like this game.

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

I never played Zelda: Ocarina of Time on the N64, but I now have two copies of it for the Gamecube - one which came with my copy of The Wind Waker, and one on the Collector's Edition. The only Zelda game I'd played before I got my Gamecube was Link's Awakening on the Game Boy, and I hadn't finished that at that point.

So, I played The Wind Waker, and was absolutely amazed. It's a great game, with a gripping story and superb gameplay. I loved it. I played it through to completion, beating both John and Kieron to the end. In fact, Kieron's still not finished it. He should be ashamed.

After that, I managed to finish Link's Awakening despite having left it alone for over two years. Two down.

And I started Ocarina of Time. Everyone has always said that it's a better game than the Wind Waker, and still overshadows anything since. And I have to say, I think that's a load of rubbish.

As I said, I started Ocarina of Time after completing Link's Awakening, around a year and a bit ago. I've just got around to carrying on with it, because I was rather underwhelmed with it. It doesn't have the elegance of The Wind Waker, or the pacing, or the drive to it. There's nothing that's compelling me to carry on, other than the promise from so many people that it's a great game.

Maybe I'm not being fair - I'm not that far through the game (I'm up on Death Mountain, in the cavern, trying to find something nasty). I'm going to put another hour into it now. But I'm still more compelled to play Oracle of Ages, since with that I can see what I'm ultimately trying to do.

In other news, Lego Star Wars is still great.

Pokémon LeafGreen

No idea why I bought this over the Ruby or Sapphire versions. I used to have Pokémon Yellow, and of course this is basically the same game but with some different pokémon to collect and starting with a different one. But anyway. I only ever play this a little bit at a time, which doesn't help with remembering which pokémon types beat other types. Or what I'm meant to be doing. Or where I'm meant to be going.

But I can't play it for massive long periods, because I find it gets rather repetitive. And I don't have the time. Which is a shame, since it is a great game, and one day I hope to have caught them all.

Lego Star Wars Episode II: attack of the 2x2 stud pieces

I've had to stop playing this for now, because I've got to the end of Episode 2 and, while I do know the rough story of what's going to happen by the end of the third film, I want to keep some suspense. I mean, I'm expecting dodgy acting, dire scripts and dubious special effects, so I've got to have something to look forward to.

I've been trying to convince my girlfriend to play this in two-player mode, but she doesn't seem keen. She'd never seen Star Wars before meeting me, admittedly, so she misses out on the childhood memories. Maybe I ought to get her Barbie Horse Adventures.

Lego Star Wars

(or Star Wars Lego)

It's rare that a game makes me laugh out loud, but this has, several times today. It's just so charming and amusing. Yes, it's a kid's game. So what? It's fun. And I'm not even a massive Star Wars fan.

Timesplitters: Future Perfect: completed!

Completed, that is, in a limited way. I've completed the story mode (on normal difficulty level), but have made very little progress on the challenge mode. And medals in arcade mode are very rare.

This game is superb. The story mode is uttely compelling, well structured, and very funny. The game has more humour in it than any other I've played, not just in its characterisation, not just in its set-pieces, but in its whole self-parodying nature and its throwaway gags.

Just as an example, last night I was making my way through a massive underground town (one that reminded me very much of the dreamt-about Whole New World from War of the Worlds) and found myself being shot at from an upper balcony. Next to this shooter was an oil drum, which I shot with my sniper rifle. The soldier was thrown over the balcony, and fell screaming "Aaaargh!". I'd turned away slighty, when I heard an "Owwwwww!". Scanning back, I was that he'd landed on the raining of a lower balcony, legs either side, with a grimace on his face. I actually died shortly after, because someone else shot me while I was laughing.

It's very difficult to convey humour in a video game. Unless you go for incredibly obvious cutscenes or set dialogue, the comedy that can be conveyed is limited. But Timesplitters: FP manages to be funny in a subtle way, through background animations, overemphasised locations and slightly ludicrous characterisation. It's all believable, but unlikely.

The story itself is pretty clever. It sees you frequently going back in time to help yourself out; sometimes knowingly and sometimes not. There's a rather good twist near the end too, which I won't spoil. I'll just say that it made me want to restart the game immediately. On 'hard', naturally.

Thoroughly recommended.

James Bond games are a varied bunch

Goldeneye on the N64 was great. Amazingly great.

My friend got 007 Nightfire on the Gamecube, and the multiplayer of that was also great. I bought it on the Xbox when I saw it for a fiver. I played through the single player mode for a bit, but it was dull. Insipid and uninspired. I gave up when I got to a section where I had to manouvre my car underwater, made frustrating by the appalling controls rather than any game difficulty.

I was recently given Goldeneye: Rogue Agent on the Xbox. Again, the multiplayer is superb, more so given that it's playable online. There's nothing really special about the multiplayer - there's certainly nothing unique to this game, other than maybe the Mag Rail gun which shoots through walls, and the golden gun which massively unbalances the agme in favour of the holder. Some of the multiplayer maps are well designed, and they include interactions (such as collapsing floors, missile launches, and gas chambers). Some are badly designed. But they're fun to play and explore, and I've played it lots for this reason.

The single player isn't that good. It's well presented, with good graphical effects, and great music (from Paul Oakenfold), but it's very much an on-rails game. You'll frequently come to an area with a few doors. they all look the same, but only one will open. You'll be given a new ability (like the ability to see through walls, or the ability to hack opponant's weapons so they malfunction) from time to time, which you'll have to use in the next level but probably never again after that. The game was obviously designed to be played on a PS2 joypad, because it compensates for the large dead zone on the Dual Shock, making control on the Xbox joypad very jumpy indeed (and I'd hate to see how it worked on the Gamecube joypad).

But all that said, it's not that bad either - around 256% better than that of Nightfire. It's certainly very playable if you want a no-thought blaster, and it's interesting to see how EA are really keen to get as many old Bond characters in there as possible. It's also amusing to see how unsexy they can make an Honor Blackman character look. Goldeneye: Rogue Agent definitely has a place in my games collection.

You can tell it's not a labour of love like the original Goldeneye was, however. It's just a bit lazy. That's not the worst crime in the world (the worst crime is not offering customisable controls. I'm looking at you, Doom 3 Collectors Edition), but it does make for a bit of a dull experience. I wonder if I'll ever complete it.

Doom 3 and 2 and 1

Doom 3 is a scary game. I've not played much of it yet, but that's because I'm a wimp and I get put off when I'm stuck in a dark place with something killing me from the darkness.

I bought the Collectors Edition because it includes versions of Doom and Doom 2, playable in split-screen co-op modes. This will be ideal for when John and Kieron come around. Or at least it would.

The first first person shooter I played on consoles was Doom, on the 32X. It was great. The first fully-3D FPS I played on consoles was Goldeneye. For this I used the control scheme of champions: looking on the analogue stick (giving extra precision) with movement on the C buttons. This then allowed use of the A and B buttons to switch weapons and open doors.

So, look/turn on the left hand side and move/sidestep on the right. Fine.

I got used to this. So much so, that if a game makes me use the other way around, I can't. I got about two levels through XIII before giving up.

Luckily, Doom 3 does allow me to configure the controls to suit me. It took a bit of a struggle to get them set up right, admittedly, but now they're fine.

But Doom 1 and 2 don't. I can't even find a way to put the controls to a classic Doom method of move and turn on a single (left) stick. If I can't be bothered to adjust my controlling method for a full game, I'm certainly not going to change it for a throwaway bonus. Cheers, id. You idiots.

Zoo Keeper: pure genius

No, that's not its subtitle, but it should be.

This is the reason I said that Mr Driller: DS was possibly the best game available. It's because this actually is.

It's a simple concept. Switch tiles to make a line of three, and these will disappear. Make chain reactions. Get rid of a certain number of each tile and move up a level. Score lots.

It's so good that I'm not wasting any more time writing this. It's only £20 in Asda. Find out for yourself.

Mr Driller: Drill Spirits

Normally, there is a single game which will get stuck in a console for a long period, since it overrules any other available. Not the DS, however.

I've got 144 stars on Mario 64DS, but now I can't find which ones I'm missing. This game was stuck in the DS for ages because it was the best one I owned. I doubt it'll make its way back in now, for two reasons.

I was expecting Wario Ware: Touched to be a reason. It's not. I'm not saying it's a bad game; anything but. In fact, it's superb. It's just a bit short, and the woeful decision to group games according to how you play them means that there are very few modes with true replayability. One mode, for example, just has you blowing into the microphone all the time. What's the point?

Polarium, as you may have guessed, is also not a reason. In fact, I've only played it once since my last entry below.

The two reasons are Mr Driller: Drill Spirits and Zoo Keeper. I'll talk about the latter at some point soon, since I'm not sure how to express how good it is. Mr Driller: Drill Spirits is easy to talk about.

Firstly, Mr Driller: DS is better than Mr Driller. It's better than Mr Driller: Drill Land. It's on a par with Mr Driller 2. In fact, if it included "average" stats in the same way as Mr Driller 2, it would be better. That's high praise indeed.

Mr Driller: DS has been criticised by a number of people for not using the full capabilities of the DS. It's very difficult to control with the stylus. But it's really not a stylus game. It doesn't really use the two screens. It does, in that the top screen shows you the blocks above you which you should avoid, but in the heat of the game you really can't look at it.

This misses the point though. Not every DS game needs to use everything the DS has to offer. Some games work best just as a traditional game. And Mr Driller: DS is an excellent example of this. It's compelling, addictive, and pure fun. It induces excitement and tension, and rewards risk-taking and quick thinking. It's a very simple concept made infinitely complex.

The additional modes this includes over standard Mr Driller make it massively superior. The Dristone mode makes it feel like a completely different game - you're not racing against time, but instead trying to drill as few times as possible. Dristone mode is analagous to Polarium's challenge mode, but while the latter introduces a lot of new play concepts (only being allowed to use one stylus movement, free move areas on all four sides, needing to clear the whole screen at once) Dristone only changes the time requirement and adds collectable crystals to expand on the strategy. It's a much more successful conversion, in all.

The time attack levels aren't as good as those in Mr Driller 2, but they're built on the same idea - one ideal route to be followed and a different theme to each one.

And the pressure mode is superb. you must race downwards collecting both air and power capsules; collecting up to three power capsules allows you to fire upwards at the big robot drill (on the top screen) which is chasing you downwards. It's Mr Driller, but with added stress. Or, indeed, pressure.

Add all this to a normal Mr Driller mode (with characters which actually act in different ways) and you have possibly the best game yet available. Get it. Now.

Polarium

A lot of people like Polarium. It's not really clicked with me yet.

You're presented with a screen of black and white tiles. You must make each horizontal line a single colour, and it disappears. This bit works well. You turn a tile over by drawing over it with the stylus. This bit also works well.

There are two modes. The "main" mode (challenge) has new lines of blocks dropping from the top of the screen, and you must get rid of lines before the pile stacks up too high. To start with, the game gives you set pieces which are easy to get rid of. But aftera little while, it starts dropping random lines which really require you to just make single blocks turn over, getting rid of one line at a time. It just becomes no fun.

The puzzle mode is better. There's no tension here, since there's no time limit. You're presented with a single screen and must work out how to make all lines disappear at once using a single stylus movement. I like this mode; but I've got to the 46th puzzle and I just can't work it out. So it's now just frustrating.

I hope the challenge mode is one which will just click soon. Otherwise I'm a bit disappointed.

Busy, busy, busy

I did mean to warn you that my posting here won't be very regular or reliable. I'm a consultant, you see, which means that my busyness (and business) at work swings up and down like a particularly active yo-yo. When I'm busy, I have very little time to play games, let alone write about them.

But today's my birthday, so I'm not going to do any work. Instead, I've just been given Polarium and Mr Driller: Drill Spirits for my DS. I do already have the latter, but that's the Japanese version which means I'm missing out on the amazingly relevent story and also having difficulty with the Dristone mode. So I'm really pleased to have got the UK version. Especially since it's got one-cart multiplayer.

Also, I've bought a lot of cheapie games recently from the HMV sale. They are all crap. But they were cheap, which is they key thing, since Game is currently running a promotion where you can take in 4 old games and pay 99p for a new game. The games from the HMV sale cost me from £1.99 to £3.99 each. So four games at the most is £16, which equates to a new one for £17. Even play.com can't beat that.

Four of the games I've got are reserved for the release next Friday of Timesplitters: Future Perfect. Timesplitters 2 has a lot of detractors, but I've always found it to be rather fun; especially in multiplayer mode. TS:FP has online play. It may even usurp Halo 2 from its position as my favourite Live game.

I'm slightly worried that my expectations are too high.

Grand Theft Auto Advance

This game is ... well, interesting. It started off being a bit pants, really - difficult to control, difficult to understand - but after the initial confusion and struggling it became really great. Use of the powerslide became intuitive, in particular. However, there are still some severe control issue with the game - it's virtually impossible to shoot anyone with anything other than a shotgun due to the accuracy needed, which you don't get with an 8-way directional system.

Anyway, I've worked my way through the game, and I'm on the final island. Probably on close to the final mission, as well. And I've got to drive all around the island and take out about 15 hitmen before they start a war against me. So, you've got to do it in a time limit, and I'm sure it's impossible.

Firstly, you can't simply run these people over - they'll survive a couple of times, so it takes ages to kill them that way. So the quickest way is to stop next to them, get out of the car, and use the shotgun. Which I do. I had a perfect run along what I think is the optimum course, and yet I still ran out of time before I reached the last man.

It's very, very frustrating.

By the way, if you're thinking that my prose above isn't quite as lucid as it normally is, that's probably because I'm still drunk from last night.

Ow, my head

When hosting, you have no disincentive to drink lots.

But I am the best at Donkey Konga. Oh yes.