Thursday, June 01, 2006

Pocket Ping Pong 2005

Thank God the Gizmondo died. It means there'll never be a sequel to this absolutely shit game.

It's largely uncontrollable. The graphics are glitchy. It doesn't always respond to button presses. The whole screen bobs up and down (as if you were viewing it from your character's perspective) but that just makes you feel motion sick. You can't see your bat, so you have no frame of reference as to whether you can hit the ball. You can't really control where you hit the ball - often you can be stood still in the middle of the table, receiving a slow, easy ball, and you'll hit it off the side of the table.

And for some reason you play as a skimpily dressed girl. It's almost as if the developers heard that the Gizmondo was advertised as a 'portable Xbox' and decided to do their own version of DOA Xtreme Beach Volleyball. Except they made it crap.

Out of 14 games, I've won 3. And they were flukes. Rubbish.

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